Stumbling in the Dark

The evangelists report many instances where Jesus heals a blind person.  In every case, the story can be read as a metaphor for the giving of spiritual sight – that is, faith – to the person.  Nowhere is this clearer than in the story we hear this morning.  (Jn 9:1-41).

Here the beggar – blind from birth – miraculously receives his physical sight.  Perhaps more miraculously, he also receives faith despite the consistent efforts of those around him to deny his insight.  He begins professing Jesus as simply “a man,” then claims he is a prophet, then one “from God” and, finally, he acknowledges Jesus as the “Son of Man,” a title which implied that Jesus was the Messiah.

But in John, this story is just as much about those who refuse to believe.  They remain as spiritually blind as they were at the beginning of the story.  They prefer their own dark world to the light which is Jesus.   We shake our heads at their foolishness and smile at Jesus’ rebuke to them.  Yet, I often find myself stumbling around blind in their same, dark world.

At times, I am like the man’s neighbors who see him in a new light.  I may simply doubt that such a thing is possible.  There must be a logical explanation.  After all, I live in a modern society in which science has made great advances, but science has yet to cure a man born blind.  Perhaps it is a trick; it is simply someone who looks like the blind man.  We have seen such remarkable strides in science in our lifetime, it is easy to believe that science will ultimately cure all of our ills, fix all of our problems, and make all of work easy.  We don’t need Jesus’ light, we’ll invent our own.      

At times, I am like the Pharisees, blinded by my own rules of what is right and what is wrong.  If somebody breaks the rules, why should I consider them worthy of my respect, never mind my love?  On the other hand, if I follow the rules, why shouldn’t I be rewarded handsomely?  In a sense, it is my success which blinds me.    As the disciples ask Jesus about the cause of the man’s blindness – “was it his sin or the sin of his parents” – I can easily confuse material and physical success or failure with blessings and curses from God.  I have been richly blessed by God during my life, so it is easy to assume that this is simply my just reward for hard work and good living.  Conversely, for those who are suffering, it is easy to assume that they can just follow my good example and be rewarded as I was.  I don’t need Jesus’ light, mine works just fine.

At times, I am like the man’s parents.  I am blinded by my fear of the light.  I am used the dark, I am comfortable in the dark.  Who knows what will happen if all of that changes?  What would people think if I stepped outside the normal boundaries?  I would rather stay quiet and be accepted than speak out and be rejected.  I don’t need Jesus’ light or his love; I’ll just settle for the light and esteem of others.

Just like the man’s neighbors, his parents, and the Pharisees, I think I have got plenty of light.  I’m not blind, am I? 

Yet science cures disease, but cannot eliminate death.  Science creates amazing amounts of food, yet does not eliminate even physical hunger, never mind spiritual hunger for meaning and purpose.  Science creates weapons of mass destruction, yet cannot eliminate war.

My hard work to succeed only seems to lead to more hard work.  I satisfy one set of desires only to realize that another, even greater set of desires lies just outside my reach.  If only I work a little harder or obey the rules a bit more diligently, I can get that, too!  And, if truth be told, I’m not really that good at working hard and following all the rules.  No matter how hard I try, I ultimately tire out or trip up on one rule or another. 

Finally, the esteem of others does me little good.  In fact, I find that when I am focused on winning the esteem of others, or at least not losing the little esteem I may already have, I don’t even like myself.

None of these false lights can keep me from stumbling in the dark.  I am truly blind.  Only the infinite and unconditional love of God, a love so great that he gave his only son for me and for you, a love so great that his son died an ignominious death on the cross for my sins and yours, only this great and magnanimous God can light my way surely and eternally.  By professing my faith in Jesus, the Light of the World, I live in the peace that science cannot invent, I live with the true and lasting joy that my hard work and diligence will never earn, and I bask in a love that never fails.

I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see.