And the winner is...

Almost every day, a battle rages inside me.  It is a desperate battle: two forces opposed to each other in a battle to the death.  They have been fighting since I was old enough to know who I was.  They will be fighting until the day I die.  At that point, one will win, one will be vanquished.  The question is: who will win?

The first force is very powerful.  It causes me to consider other people as my competitors, vying with me for material wealth, for earthly success, and for the love and esteem of others.  It causes me to be envious when others have more than me, jealously protective and greedy when I have more than others, condescending and arrogant when others appear less worthy than me, hateful and vengeful when others hurt me.  It fills me with fear that I may fail to get what I deserve or lose what I have earned.  It blinds me to God, makes me oblivious to His constant presence to me.  It’s ugly.  This force is pride.

Paul begs and exhorts the Thessalonians, as he begs and exhorts me, to act in ways that are pleasing to God, for Jesus will soon come again with all the holy ones.  Yet, when pride has the upper hand within me, I am clearly not acting as Paul suggests, not acting as Jesus asks me to act; I am simply acting as pride dictates.

However, the contending force within me is also very powerful.  It makes me compassionate towards others, generous and kind in sharing whatever I have.  It gives me courage to love even those who act with hate towards me.  It makes me humble, aware of God’s infinite and unconditional love for me, aware of His great gift of life, aware of His constant presence and help.  This force is gratitude.

It is fortuitous that our liturgical season of Advent – a season when we consider our readiness for Jesus’ second coming – usually begins in the same week that we celebrate Thanksgiving.  For the more I can be grateful for the gifts God has given me, most importantly, the gift of infinite, unconditional, self-emptying love He demonstrated for me on the cross of salvation, the more likely I am to act as He wishes, the more likely I am to see Him as my Lord, my Savior, my source of ultimate happiness and joy, the more likely that gratitude triumphs over pride.

I pray that during this Advent that God fills me – and he fills you – with the strength and awareness to turn every occasion of pride into one of gratitude, to create in me and to create in you an attitude of gratitude.

I pray that if and when my hard work is rewarded, I will remember that God gave me ability to work hard.  Thank you, God, for health and stamina.

I pray that when I do anything good, I will remember God’s goodness which inspired me, God’s grace which gave me the talent and opportunity.  Thank you, God, for your inspiration, for my talent, and for the opportunity to serve you. 

I pray that when I am loved by others, I will remember that I do not deserve their love, yet God loves others so much, they share that love with me, showing me the great love God has for me.  Thank you, God, for your infinite love.

I pray that when I am threatened, I will remember that it was God who saved me from sin, God who brought me safe thus far, God who will lead me home.  Thank you, God, for your mercy and your faithfulness.

And I pray that when the end comes, pride dies and gratitude wins; that I realize it was not about me or my efforts; that it was Christ who died, Christ who is risen, Christ who will come again. 

Stand erect with heads held high, for our salvation is near at hand.  Thank God.