Hacking My Way to Hell

There was a time when I was a pretty fair golfer.  Certainly, I was no threat to be club champion, but when I struck the ball well – which was more times than not – I knew that the direction and distance of the ball would be close to what I had intended and my score would be good.  I played often, and the more I played, the better I became.  This was in a long-ago time that Mary and I refer to “B.K.” – before kids.

A.K. – after kids – who had time for golf?  Now, I seldom golf and when I do, it’s not pretty.  I am just a hacker.  I rarely strike the ball very well and even when I do, the ball seems to have a will of its own.  Things only work for me in those rare times when the shape of the course coincides with the flight of my ball.

Unfortunately, this reminds me of my life of discipleship.  Like you and like all human beings, God blessed me with a will of my own, a free will.  I can decide whatever I want!  My problem is that I’ve used this will to live in a conditional world, a world of ifs.  Perhaps I don’t consciously will this, just as I don’t consciously will my golf ball to the bottom of nearest pond, but it’s the world I choose.  For me, it is a world of simple logic.  If you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.  If you respect me, I’ll respect you.  If you love me, I’ll love you.

And if the course of my life is filled with people who share my values and my interests, people who are like me and who like me, I can seem to be a pretty good disciple of Jesus.  I love people since they generally love me.  I help people since they generally help me.

But more often, the course of life is not so congenial.  Then, the flip side of “if” rears its ugly head.  If you threaten me, I’ll threaten you.  If you hurt me, I’ll hurt you.  If you reject and hate me, I’ll reject and hate you.  At those times, it becomes apparent that I’m a mere hacker as Jesus’ disciple.

Just as the only time I look like a good golfer is when the golf course conforms to my ball’s will, the only time I look like a good disciple is when the course of my life conforms to my desires and my will.  And just as it is a ludicrously hopeless venture to find a golf course that always conforms to the flight of my ball, so I am constantly frustrated trying to make the world constantly conform to my will.

Jesus has the answer.  Do not reject him like the Pharisees rejected John as a demoniac, like they rejected Jesus as a glutton and drunkard, damned by his associations with the tax collectors and sinners.  (Lk 7:33-34).  Rather than reject Jesus because he doesn’t fit into my will, I must form my will to that of Jesus and the will of the one who sent him; the one who created the heavens and the earth; the one who breaks the chains of if by loving me and you and all creation without condition and beyond all measure

Accept Jesus without condition and I may still be a hacker at golf, but he will make me, as he will make you, an ace disciple, and the kingdom of heaven is ours.